Tuesday, November 17, 2015

I'm Surviving Low Carb Life, and You Can Too

If a friend of mine came to me 4 years ago, suggesting a low carb diet, I would have asked them why they hated me and wanted me to die hungry. Though, since then, I have found that God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy, but you can survive a low carb diet. Hell, you can live happily on it. All it took was some low carb recipes that successfully curbed my carb cravings for me to understand that. As I find more, I promise to add them here...

Low Carb Pumpkin muffins with low carb cream cheese frosting:



This shit will arouse your taste-buds and curb cake/brownie cravings. Recipe:

Muffins:

  • 5 Eggs
  • 1 cup of pumpkin puree
  • ¼ cup butter
  • ½ cup coconut flour
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1-2 Tablespoons of pumpkin pie spice or cinnamon
  • a few drops or packets of stevia

Mix ingredients together, then put about 1/4 cup of batter in each muffin cup. Put them in the oven at 400 degrees for 13 to 18 minutes. 
Cream cheese frosting: softened cream cheese, a couple stevia packets, vanilla extract, cinnamon.

BOOYAH.


Low Carb Mini "Pizzas":
These will kick the piss out of a traditional pizza craving. Recipe:

Take baby bella mushrooms, dig out the stems. Then, add tomato sauce  to their middles. Top that with mozzarella & parmesan cheeses. To finish, place a piece of pepperoni on top of that. Bake at 350 for 20-23 minutes. Instead of pepperoni, you could mix in some cooked ground sausage in the sauce, if you wish.

MERICA.

Low Carb Chips & Low Carb Guacamole:

Do you have an assertive chip and dip craving? I got you. Recipe:

Chips:

I cut up low carb Mission tortillas. Sometimes I use a pizza cutter, sometimes I use cookie cutters for fun little holiday shapes. The kids love that kinda crap. Then, I put them either under the broiler in the oven (takes almost no time), or bake them for a few more minutes on 400 degrees. Just enough to make them crispy. 

Guacamole:

2-3 avocados, sea salt, a couple tbsps of lime juice, a few canned diced tomatoes, and for spice: Tabasco or something similar. 



OH, YOU DON'T WANT GUACOMOLE FOR THOSE TASTY ASS CHIPS? Okay. What about...

Low Carb Spinach And Artichoke dip?

Oh yes. I flippin' went there. Recipe:

1 cup cream cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
4 tbsp butter
About 5 oz of spinach, cooked
1/2 to a whole can of artichoke hearts

Melt butter in a pan, then add cream cheese, on medium. When almost melted, add all other ingredients, simmer on low for 15 minutes or so. Add garlic and salt to your tasting needs during the simmering process.

RAWR.



I know, I know. Noodle cravings are the WORST. I suggest using spaghetti squash, or  saute some zucchini "noodles" (use a Vegetti to cut them). 

So, after you saute the zucchini noodles, you can make ITALIAN ZUCCHINI NOODLE SALAD, because you're a winner.



Ingredients:
Zucchini noodles (after sauteed for 5 minutes, drained, and rinsed with cold water)
Italian dressing (zesty or regular)
Sliced Kalamata olives
Shredded parmesan cheese
Salami, cut
Sundried tomatoes (not too many)

Mix all the ingredients to your taste, and then refrigerate for at least 45 minutes before enjoying that delectable concoction. 


AND NOW FOR MORE SALAMI (and some pepperoni)--try some low carb Italian Pinwheels:


Slather a low carb tortilla with whipped cream cheese and a little Italian dressing. Cut up a few banana peppers and spread them around on the cheese, then layer some spinach, salami, and pepperoni. Roll it tightly, and cut into sections--like some little low carb Italian sushi sammiches. But for America. Oh snaps.

LOOKING FOR A QUICK, 3 INGREDIENT LOW CARB SNACK?

Slather some slices of salami with whipped cream cheese. Then, cut up mini yellow sweet peppers and put them in the cream cheese. Fold that damn thing and it'll look like a taco of low carb VICTORY.

How about a low carb breakfast that can easily be made into a DESSERT?

This is a low carb strawberry cheesecake smoothie:


In a blender combine:

1 cup of unsweetened almond milk
5 frozen strawberries
1/4 cup whipped cream cheese
Sugar-free liquid vanilla sweetener, to your taste (I use about 1/8 cup)

WANNA TURN THAT DELECTABLE BREAKFAST INTO A LOW CARB AFTER DINNER TREAT?  Then all you have to do is add unsweetened cocoa powder and a little more sugar-free sweetener. I shit you not. It is all that without the bag of high carb potato chips.

Update: April 10, 2016: I found a comfort food-esque casserole that is about 4 net carbs per serving! It's called:

Ground Beef & Broccoli Cheesy Casserole.



Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
1/4 onion
12 ounces broccoli
8 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup mozzarella 

Cook the onions & ground beef together (season with salt & pepper as desired). Drain. Steam the broccoli. Drain. Mix together cream cheese, Parmesan cheese, heavy cream and garlic powder. Then mix together meat, onions, broccoli, and creamy blend in a large casserole dish. Top with mozzarella and a little more black pepper. Put in oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. 





Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Telling It Like It Isn't



"He fights! He knows things! He's a political outsider!"

Please stop.

It's important to know what Donald Trump is actually about, and not what he claims to be about. If one were to actually follow his ever-changing party allegiance, collusion with the government, and his history of business follies, his fraudulent and corrupt approach to life is not difficult to find. He continually tells us what we want to hear, and presents himself as a no nonsense straight-shooter. Let the record show that he is duping us all. It has been nothing short of astonishing to see our fellow freedom lovers, people who champion the rights of the individual above all else, embracing the rhetoric of a madman that hijacks Ronald Reagan's campaign slogan and follows it with proposals that would have made Reagan puke. This man does not believe in freedom, and never has. 

Let's face it: we are all busy, and don't always have the time to dig deep, when it comes to researching even Presidential candidates. Some of us don't even want to, if a candidate seems so genuine(re: Barack Obama, circa 2008). The majority of Americans do want a better economy, and protected gun rights, among other things. If you're a reality TV star, though, and have made a living out of fooling people like Trump has, you'd know exactly how to make the masses feel like giddy little school girls, asked out by the dickhead captain of the football team. You'd promise these things, talking up your success and stances. You'd promise to "make America great again".


But anyone who even digs just a little into Trump's past, will find some pretty deplorable, unsuccessful behavior.

The most common perception of Trump is a lie: that he is a self made, successful businessman. From birth, Trump has always been rich. His father, Fred Trump, was a successful real estate mogul, and eventually Donald inherited at least tens of millions from him (though it's possible the inheritance was in the hundreds of millions). This is not a crime, but it points out that his father's success set him up, and even made it possible for Donald to mess up a few (well, not just a few) times in the business world. Not only did he rack up billions of debt in the 1980's, but Trump essentially had the government alleviate most of that burden: the sort of textbook crony capitalism that is abhorred by almost all Americans, both right and left.  He bankrupted 4 different hotels & casinos--rin spite of the great odds casinos afford their owners. Additionally, Trump has a slough of failed business ventures under his belt, including Trump vodka, Trump Steaks, Trump Mortgage, Trump: the Game, Trump Ice, GoTrump.com... There are more, but I bet you get the idea by now. Though, don't forget about "Trump University", which is both playing out to be a scam, and a failed business attempt.

It wasn't just his father's money that propped Donald up all these years, however. Since the beginning, government officials have had a hand in his protection, passing laws and making moves for him. Ask elderly widow Vera Coking if she thinks Donald Trump would combat the corporatism we all hate. Donald Trump started using eminent domain to his advantage, and then successfully lobbied the state to achieve the  Kelo v. City of New London ruling he was looking for. The ruling class enabled action against citizens who refused to sell their land to make room for commercial developments. Trump was instrumental in destroying one of our most fundamental rights: the right to do as we wish with our own property.

 Add to this, the fact that on numerous occasions, Trump's projects employed the same illegal immigrants he is now blaming for all of our problems. It sounds cliche, but it is reminiscent of one Adolf Hitler, a man who wrote the book that sits on Trump's nightstand. No, that wasn't a joke.

What we'll find in a Trump presidency is the compounding exacerbation of everything we despise about 2015 America. He is a crony capitalist who would evolve into a fascist, and he has never, even once, taken the side of liberty in the arena of ideas. The snake would further the picking of winners and losers by the most corruptible and powerful people in the country. The effect would be stifled competition, larger firms getting even larger, and all the while, Trump would be filling his own pockets (which aren't as full as he claims, either--throw that into the perpetually rising stack of Trump lies). This is precisely why he says he wouldn't take a presidential salary. Instead, he'd be making billions more, serving corporate America, at your expense.

Any moron who inherits tens of millions of dollars, and makes good friends with government officials can be a billionaire despite making a lot of stupid choices. This is the lesson here.

At this point, if you're still on the Trump Train, is it just because you think he can win? If so, what good is that when he will obviously facilitate the same kind of corrupt government we have in place right now?  Especially because he'd rather bash conservatives than one of the most corrupt families in the country--the Clintons. He voted for Hillary and Bill in past elections. Not only does he ignore the numerous scandals they have been involved with, but he has even given hundreds of thousands to the Clinton Foundation. Yes, the same Clinton Foundation being investigated for wrongly claiming tax-exempt status. Perhaps this shouldn't surprise anyone, since Trump didn't even register as a Republican until 2011 (and has changed parties at least 5 times since the 1980's).

This is when his multiple changes of heart come into the argument. The examples above are just a couple of his flip-flops. For instance, before his candidacy, he was very much for an "assault rifle" ban, and he was against the War on Drugs. Though he claims the opposite now. He has flip-flopped on abortion so many times, I don't think anyone is even totally sure what he thinks. On healthcare, he has talked up Canada-style universal healthcare until very recently--now he claims it might be bad for our country. However, just a month ago, he proclaimed the opposite on 60 minutes.

Furthermore, Mr. "Successful Businessman", used to support Occupy Wall Street-like tax plans. As in, one that will essentially make competition and innovation extinct. His new plan sucks a lot less, but there is still little to celebrate over it, due to subjecting individuals, who actually aren't that well off, to inexcusably high tax rates. It doesn't take an economist to know that has some disadvantageous effects on the market (and Rand Paul's tax plan is infinitely better). Trump also altered his stance, for the worst, on social security. Not too long ago he urged the privatization of the program (Chile benefited greatly from doing so). However, now he does not want to change the overburdened, government-run system. To call Trump inconsistent seems like a gigantic understatement.

You should be terrified of what the Trump administration's foreign policy plans are. As far as President Donald Trump attempting to negotiate with our allies, and win against our enemies, you can rest assured that he has no idea how to accomplish desired outcomes. Desired outcomes being cooperative, trusting relationships with our allies, and the decimation (or irrelevance) of evil. Instead of smoothing over relations with trade partners, he would create a hostile trade environment to attempt to sabotage Russia, China and Mexico--killing jobs and raising business costs for everyone in the process. He would then incorporate his insane wild west tactics, and TRY to seize as much oil as possible, all over the world--creating even more enemies, and depressing our export market. How imperialist, and dangerous. Mexico will then scoff at him, as he repeats "I'll have Mexico build a wall" batshittery. Yes, he's talking about the wall which mostly already exists.

...And don't get me started on his comments denigrating a former honorable prisoner of war. That's not something that a future Commander in Chief should ever do. A future Commander in Chief shouldn't compare his or her time in expensive military school to our troops' time in the service in the actual military, either. Trump actually did that.

Let us all remember that actions speak louder than words. Donald Trump is a man of many, many words, that voters mistakenly classify as truthful and genuine. Remember all the instances in which Trump has proven that he is no more than a politician--a politician who has done his fair share of politicking, even without having the experience of serving in office. How does that make him more qualified than, say, a governor who has shown they can successfully oversee a government organization? Or a senator with a  consistent voting record and better economic policies?

 If the facts presented in this piece do not sway even the most staunch Trump supporters, one should fear for this country. We have already had a cult-like following behind a presidential candidate, especially in the last 8 years, and one can see how well that turned out. Spoiler: it didn't exactly help to try and keep our constantly growing, crony capitalist government or officials in check.




Monday, September 14, 2015

That #Bern you're feeling is Chlamydia


   #FeeltheBern sounds less like the hashtag slogan of an aspiring presidential candidate, and more like the title of an 80's porno film concocted by someone that lacked imagination. The confusion would be understandable, since a president Sanders will promptly leave us all screwed via a slough of ideas as obsolete and ancient as the first human monarch.

  Similar to Barack Obama's 2008 surge in popularity, Bernie Sanders is suddenly attracting cultists. He attracts other people, too, of course.  He says all the right things at the right time, and possibly to your amazement, that phenomenon didn't begin with him. However, the difference is that Barack was not sold on most of his ideas--they just sounded nice and won him the votes he needed to rise in the ranks of the ruling class. So of course he trumpeted them as if to say that he would be our first harbinger of real, actual change. There is no reason why he should have cared if he actually believed in things he claimed to. For instance, his supposed support of suspending government mass surveillance programs, and the use of drones (he has escalated drone strikes substantially since after Bush left office) have since clearly been shown as a means to getting elected. Nothing more.

  Bernie, on the other hand, seems to think that his socialist ideas will work better this time around, and he is legitimately promising to push them through with a fervor the world hasn't seen since 1945.

  This should scare the hell out of you. Unfortunately, due to economic ignorance, and the perpetual longing for a Utopia that is impossible to obtain, there are many voters who are being wooed. In defiance of history, Bernie is adamant that Nirvana is possible: that we can live in a society that is perfectly educated, perfectly prosporous, and perfectly safe. In Bernie's wonderland, politicians are somehow free from the corrupting nature of power, and couldn't possibly be incompetent or inefficient in their duties.

  I know, I know. The media is mostly only covering what Bernie Sanders rallies look like. He's surging in the polls (because his democrat competition sucks) and he's "filling up stadiums". The media reports very small tidbits of what he's saying in those rallies. He is not saying nice things about Obama's policies, yet, he wants to maintain those policies and inject them with steroids, all while convincing himself that he is somehow different. The guy endorsed Obama in 2008 and 2012... but that's none of my business.

  Bernie's platform is basically to cut defense, tax the poorly defined "rich" at poorly defined rates, and have a metric buttload of money spent on entitlement programs (I'm sorry--the buzzwords are "safety nets"). Now, most of us would get on board with cutting defense spending, no matter what party or movement we're affiliated with. Yes, even conservatives. In fact, my co-host Allan Bourdius touched on this subject here. There are many government contracts that need to be redone, since around 70% of defense spending actually ends up in contractors' pockets. Compare it to military pay, and you probably won't be too thrilled about it. Better, more efficient ways of obtaining supplies and parts need to be implemented as well. The state is replete with fraud, waste, and abuse. It's what government enables best.

  Let's not forget two things: 1) Defense was the primary reason for the establishment of the American government and 2.) Defense/military spending only accounts for 15.88% of all federal government spending.  Entitlement programs actually account for 62.28%. Medicare and health accounts for 27.42% of all federal spending alone. Social Security and unemployment--33.26%.

  Now, Bernie likes to say "military spending accounts for over half of discretionary spending". Sounds a lot more terrifying, right? Of course it does, and that's why he says it. You have to hand it to him, he really knows how to custom tailor an argument. He's right if you take his words at face value, and he's banking on voters not understanding the difference between discretionary and mandatory spending. Furthermore, most people don't understand the percentages. Discretionary spending must be pushed through and debated every year, while mandatory spending does not. Mandatory spending makes up for the vast majority of federal spending. In fact, discretionary spending is at $1.1T as of right now, and mandatory spending is at $2.45T. Here are the numbers laid out in cute pie charts.

  Bernie wants increased spending on already bloated entitlement programs (which have not reduced poverty, according to the U.S. Census Bureau). He's totes for the poor or something, so he'll make them more comfortable in their current state and engage in policies that will keep them at the bottom of the ladder for generations, as we have witnessed in the liberal bastions that are inner cities. That apparently isn't enough, so he'll make more of them with economic policies that have shown time and again to produce the highest poverty rates in the world. The more the merrier? We have the lowest labor participation rate since the 1970's--and that's partly due to an aging population, but also because we have decreased incentives for people to work. No person that is governed by rational self interest would have any reason to find and keep a job when the welfare is flowing. Incentives are important. You're free to claim I hate the poor, but it doesn't change the facts: liberal policies increase poverty by all metrics, good intentions notwithstanding.

  He wants to spend more on education--despite the fact that the United States already spends more per pupil than any other country while our schools aren't even ranked in the top 5. It's almost as if to say that more spending doesn't equal more quality. Comparatively, the U.S. also pays teachers better. Does he want people to be able to choose where their kids go to school?  Absolutely not. Behind closed doors, the view of the ruling class is simply that you are too dumb to make your own decisions, so just defer to the experts in suits. The government should always be the authority. "Education is a right!" He exclaims. Actually, no, it isn't. Not only is it not in the Bill of Rights, but you aren't entitled to someone else's services.This ties into the skewed definition of what rights are in 2015, as they are no longer objectively defined, thanks to the activism of social justice warriors. If you want a more educated populace, allow for economic growth, and do away with this system which does not permit choice (and therefore does not permit weeding out insufficient schools).

  He wants to spend more money on veterans' care--but has no interest in addressing the travesty that has become VA hospitals: places that throw most of the cash they get at insufficient managers. He would rather line the pockets of those managing under-performing government hospitals instead of allowing a more efficient system (the private health care sector), to deliver care. And don't bring up that choice thing again. The world has hardly seen a ruler as opposed to choice. This is a man that believes 23 brands of deodorant is too many, and that changing this will save the starving children. It's no wonder that petitions have arisen, asking Senator Sanders to read an economics book. Just one.

  Let's move on to the "BUT UTOPIA!" part of this conversation.

  Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders seems to believe in a Utopia that, in reality, is unattainable. Look no further than history and the examples of failed attempts are many--Greece, Venezuela, Nazi Germany, The Soviet Union, Pol Pot's Cambodia, ad infinitum. Time after time, Marx's vision didn't pan out so well. Where the people were meant to be showered in the riches that would be wrought by tearing down the wealthy, instead we find shortages and absences of the most basic goods. As I write this, the shelves of Venezuelan stores remain mostly empty as the peoples' demands go unfulfilled.

  "BUT SWEDEN AND DENMARK!"

  A common misconception is that Sweden and Denmark are the socialist Utopia we've all been pining for. I can hear the shouts now, "It works! It works!" Though when we hear these chants, we know that there's not much research being done. Sweden and Denmark stay afloat in spite of their welfare state. And again I say "stay afloat". They don't excel, they survive. Moreover, they aren't nearly as socialist as what Bernie would implement. Yes, they have extremely high taxes, and lots of social programs. However, in the last few years, they have had to scale back some of those taxes, due to lack of economic growth.  That fact bears repeating: in countries that Bernie champions as shining examples of successful socialism, taxes have had to be scaled back to improve economic growth. Apparently when pushed into a corner, even the most ardent leftist has to admit that socialism is a burden. Ask the Danish why, if socialism is so wonderful, it was worth becoming criminals to burn down their tax offices in Bernie's paradise:  http://www.armstrongeconomics.com/archives/31307

  Sweden went from being one of the wealthiest countries in the world, to barely surpassing the wealth of a little over half of all nations, all over the course of progressively more socialist policy implementations. Scandinavian countries consist of culturally non-diverse people, and their economy is supported by vast amounts of oil and fishing. To paraphrase Margaret Thatcher, socialism seems great when you can afford it, but becomes untenable when you run out of other peoples' money. Yet, even they can't make even half-assed socialism work for their tiny populations.

  Keep in mind that Bernie says a 90% tax rate is not too high--even though France couldn't  make a 75% tax rate work as recently as December due to "meager returns". The Laffer Curve rears its ugly head. Could Sanders get that rammed through congress? Probably not. But do we seriously want a guy who is that clueless?

"BUT THEY JUST DIDN'T DO IT RIGHT! IT'LL WORK WITH THE RIGHT LEADERSHIP!"

  Actually, no. It won't, and this predictable response from progressives is what's known as a Scotsman fallacy. Socialism has been tried, many times in fact, but the result simply hasn't been what its proponents have sought. The economy is interconnected, and as soon as the federal government spends more on regulations, tries to collect more taxes from the "rich", and gives it to the "poor", it effectively crowds out private investment. This happens because the "rich" feel the need to hoard any money they make, fearing financial ruin. Less money is circulated when it is controlled by government. It is the very definition of "The Crowding Out Effect". The only businesses who will survive are the ones picked by politicians. That is an inevitable outcome, since politicians can then control what businesses survive. All they have to do is propose more staggering regulations on industries that compete with their own sources of cash flow. Bernie claims he is not like this--and maybe he would resist lobbyists in certain cases--but what if an industry came to him with a "noble cause"? Yeah, you can see where I'm going with this. If Bernie Sanders is ignorant to just one thing, it is the fact that any power he brokers to the federal government will stay there long after his departure from politics. There has yet to be discovered, a way to keep the corrupt and corruptible from entering government. Until then, Bernie's ideas are 100% guaranteed to provide the most evil of people with a concentrated level of power that would make Mussolini salivate.

  It's difficult for some to ignore the constant claims that Bernie is for the American worker. One wants to believe that their candidate is, and unfortunately, no other candidates are as loud with this message as ol' Bernie. I'm very frustrated that other, more qualified, candidates aren't articulating economics well enough. If they are, the media avoids them like the plague. I'm frustrated that Bernie is also fueling the animosity between classes with buzzwords like "greed" and "equality" hoping to gain something for himself.  He may succeed on this alone. Class warfare was one of the Obama administration's favorite tools, and it won them 8 years at the helm. Can someone explain why the rich are "greedy", but demanding that they give some of their money to you is not? Is Bernie "greedy" for voting consistently to raise congressional pay? Why or why not? I'm just trying to get all these double standards straight.

  Yes, corporations (and unions too) exist to obtain more c-notes. So what? Why is that bad? Hint: It isn't. What enables "big business" to get out of control and crush opportunities for others is when they are shielded by the beloved and benevolent state--and that's what regulations do. Regulations crush competition and choices. Consumers know what's best for their households--not government. Let consumers decide which companies survive and which do not, instead of allowing big government bureaucrats like Bernie Sanders to pick the winner and losers for us.

"TEH UNIONS THO!"

  Sanders likes to tout his support from unions. Obviously, they aren't too thrilled about Hillary Clinton, due to her past position on the Wal-Mart board of directors. She also has a history of consorting with certain corporations. She's corrupt, and it's quite clear. Things that you won't see die hard Bernie supporters tout include the fact that unions are still businesses, and they aren't susceptible to many of the obstacles other businesses are. You won't hear people touting the support Bernie "women fantasize about rape" Sanders gets from the violent, disgusting Occupy movement, either.  It isn't difficult to understand why.

   It is so very obvious why people flock to politicians like Bernie. He is enthusiastic, and he believes the things he says. He makes one feel as though a politician finally cares. So did Obama. Making sure Godwin's law is sufficiently followed, Hitler cared a great deal. He never saw anything wrong with the atrocities he facilitated. Perhaps  voters feel as though Grandpa Bernie will swaddle them and rock them to sleep every night after powdering their bottoms. He's "someone voters would like to have a beer, or perhaps a line of cocaine" with. This is another reason why Barack Obama won in 2012--even though the majority of voters sided with Mitt Romney on policy. It's crucial to realize that the policies Bernie proposes will exacerbate our economic problems. They've been tried, and they have failed every single time.  He isn't the answer, unless the question is "How do we become Venezuela?"


By Krystle Schoonveld and Mitch Arseneau


Special shout out to @MCCountchill for the initial proof read. Follow him.